Paradise Lost drinking game

(posted by Professor Peg for Billy Chew)


Okay, so I thought I'd give us a little drinking game to make the hopelessly bleak Paradise Lost a little more palatable (or a little more bleak - alcohol being a depressant).

TAKE 1 DRINK WHEN:

Someone invokes God to rain vengeance down upon Jesse Misskelley
Someone invokes God to punish Jason Baldwin in the pits of Hell
Someone invokes God to torture Damien Echols with fire and brimstone
Someone invokes God to help them forgive

TAKE 2 DRINKS WHEN:

Someone in the police department admits to losing a piece of evidence
Someone in the police department mentions how agreeable Jesse Misskelley was during his interrogation
Someone in the police department repeats a question asked to them with their eyebrows raised, their eyes wide, and their jaw slack like an eight year-old asked who kicked the dog
Someone in the police department congratules themself on their police work

TAKE 3 DRINKS WHEN:

You think to yourself "John Mark Byers is fucking crazy."
You think to yourself "I wonder if John Mark Byers murdered the...naaaaah!"
You think to yourself "Good Lord. I wonder if John Mark Byers really did it. Maybe the documentarians are just painting him that way..."
You think to yourself "Well, it's understandable that the three boys were convicted. Everyone in that room deserves a little slack - all of them being the children of in-bred Cthulhu fish people unaccustomed to the nature of logic and reality."

TAKE 4 DRINKS WHEN:

You are ready to die of alcohol poisoning and leave this horrific planet for good and join the Dark Lord himself.