Sunday, April 20, 2008


Faruiza Balk, depicted above, wasted out of her fucking cauldron.

The Craft Drinking Games

My game has three stages, because if I learned one thing from the movie, self-restrain is necessary and its never to good to get drunk (with power).

If you're a teenage dabbler, only drink when:

Skeet Ulrich says anything that makes him sound remotely smart (he is dreamy though... sigh).
Marsha Brady isn't a total bitch.
You remember that anyone in this movie besides Faruiza Balk has family members.

If you're an experienced member of a coven of four, you drink when:

A homeless man inexplicably appears and then dissapears with no explanation. Take a shot if the homeless man mutters incoherently about a snake (don't all homeless men mumble incoherently about their snakes?)
Faruiza Balk's mom downs a drink, which is whenever she's on screen.
You spot an upside down cross worn as jewelry.

If you're a natural witch, drink when:

People get what's comin' to 'em, but with magic.
Someone transforms into someone else, Mission Impossible style but with magic.
Poorly dated CGI effects happen (if it's a bad CGI effect and a transformation spell rolled into one, drink your whole bottle).

The End
Now your drunk, and it's all thanks to Professor Aloi! And also magic.

1 comment:

Peg A said...

This game is so confusing and complicated, I think it might be be difficult for peope to get drunk from it. (which is good because I might get fired for promoting underage drinking)...but it does promote repeated watching of The Craft!

Maybe you should anonymize my name just in case...